"My thoughts are stars

...I cannot fathom into constellations."

I totally forgot about this blog.  I miss writing.  I decided I'm just going to write.  About what?  Nothing in particular.  How often?  Whenever I feel the need to write.  Sometimes it won't make sense, but I'm ok with that.

Not that my writing is anything special.  I just like putting my thoughts down where I can see it.  I like making my thoughts into something tangible.

Anyhoo...I've been reading a lot.  And by a lot...I mean A LOT.  All the books I've been reading have been romantic novels.

Now, as much as I love...

Being tied up by Christian Grey

Fighting with Travis Maddox

Getting slammed by Will Cooper

Emailing Landon Maxfield

Making fun of geeky shirts with Matty Watkins

Sneaking away with Kellan Kyle 

and choosing between the Vincent Boys

...I felt like I needed something different.

The Fault in Our Stars by John Green

I guess I'm writing a book review.  Or I'm just writing about my feelings about this book.  Anyhoo...you're reading it so you can decide.  I'm just going to write.  It probably won't make sense.  Oh well...potato.

First of all, I don't know if I have ever laughed out loud reading a book.  I hate using the saying "laugh out loud."  It reminds me of LOL...and I hate when people use LOL.  Like, I want to punch people that use LOL.  But I really did...I laughed out loud reading this book.

This book is about Hazel Lancaster...and she's 16 years old.

And she's dying of cancer.  Funny right?  Well, no.  But Hazel is pretty funny.  And brutally honest about her fate.

Her favorite book is An Imperial Affliction by Peter Van Houten.  I totally Googled the book, to see if it was real so I could read it.  Nope, just part of the storyline.  A book within a book.  

Bookception.

Hazel is forced by her mother to attend a cancer support group and she hates every minute of it.

Until she meets Augustus Waters, a 17-year old survivor of osteosarcoma...with one leg.  His leg had to be amputated because of the cancer, but now he was cancer free!  Augustus is just as funny as Hazel.  And their conversations are the best.

Of course, they develop a friendship and that evolves into something much more.

I love Augustus.  Even his ugly name is beautiful.  And when he answers his phone and says, 

"Hazel Grace," talk about butterflies!  I mean, I'm this close to making my husband call me Tracy Jean. Hell, I'm this close to changing my name to Hazel Grace.

This book is about 2 kids with cancer.  And it's not inspiring in the way that you would think it was.  It's not about a kid with cancer, who hates cancer so much she becomes this ambassador for cancer patients and does all these wonderful things in the name of anyone who has suffered from cancer.

It's about 2 kids with cancer.  And doing what we all try to do everyday...just make it though our reality.  

They aren't glorified.  They aren't made out to be these super strong people who are so courageous to fight this horrible disease.  It's just a story about what they go through.  

I hate books that are philosophical and use a ton of metaphors.  Like just get to the effing point already. Stop trying to make yourself sound smarter by using a disguise over what you really want to say and feeling superior that people have to figure out what you meant by whatever the hell you said.  This book is very philosophical and uses metaphors...but I liked they way it's done.  I won't say much about that because I don't want to give all the good quotes away. 

I feel like I highlighted the whole book.

I sat and read this book in one sitting.  Granted, we were pretty slow at work today, but still.  I couldn't stop reading it.  My Microbiology grade will suffer from it, but I've made my bed.  And I plan on laying in it and re-reading this book.  I plan on laughing out loud again...

...and bawling my eyes out again.

I feel so cheesy saying reading a book has changed my life.  Doesn't everything you do change your life in some way or another?  I mean, you eat an apple.  Now, you have no apples in the house.  And maybe your husband really wanted an apple, but he can't have one because you ate the last one.  Now he's pissed off at you.  And you spend the day fighting about issues that never would've been brought up if he just had an apple to eat.  

Eating an apple = life changing experience

This book changed my life.  I read this book instead of studying.  I'll probably fail my finals this week, get kicked out of nursing school and find a job at a gas station.

But this book brought up a lot of feelings things that people don't like to talk about.  

Pain, and dying, and death.

It shoved those things in my face...and I feel like I am better for it.

This book changed my life...and however minuscule that change may be, I am grateful.